THE GREAT
NORWESCON SQUIRREL HUNT
[From the archives of House Kiln. This
remembrance, written by Doqtaj JaqvI' and myself (Qaolin), is of an incident
which occurred spontaneously at Norwescon at the Sea-Tac DoubleTree in 2001.
Editor's note: Sometimes a party is what you make of a situation!]
Working in her hotel room laboratory, taj had concocted the infamous
kut'luch, and gathered a few other Klingons for a sample. After two (four)
shots the raiding party had just left the laboratory with no clear goal in
mind. As we neared the juncture leading to the main floor, Qaolin spotted
it: a six foot tall, bespectacled man dressed as a squirrel, complete
with humongous bushy tail.
The Klingons and the Squirrel stood for the briefest of moments, each
assessing the motives and capabilities of the other, then the Squirrel makes
the fatal mistake that defines him as prey. The Squirrel's eyes glow with
fear as he takes two steps back. Qaolin yells out, "SQUIRREL!!" His chaDIch,
Kuge, yells "LUNCH!!!" Then the swelling Klingon hunting cry
"SQUIRREL!!!!" erupts from the growling throat of every Klingon present.
The Squirrel does a quick about-face and runs full tilt down the hall,
around the corner, and up the stairs. The last thing that was seen of him
was this ludicrous bushy tail bouncing to and fro as he made good his
escape.
As the evening progressed, the trips back to the laboratory, for various
reasons, both real and surreal continued. And with each trip to the lab, the
question was posed to all who would listen, "Have you seen a 6' Squirrel?"
On one such necessary return to the lab for two (five) shots to wet
the throat of the Klingon Karaoke champion, Qaolin, our numbers had swollen
(approximately to 24) to include Qaolin, taj, Kuge, Kavok (disguised
as a Sith Lord), and several members from the IKV Deathgrip, IKV T'mar, as
well as Greenfire Quad commander Kuradon and the Lady Moghra (Leader
of the Klingon Kleavage Korps). As there were too many warriors in the
elevator for load limit safety, Qaolin, Kavok and three others chose to take
the stairs.
When they reached the top of the stairs, the Squirrel was spotted in the
middle of the hall. The aforementioned hunting cry of the day was
bellowed and the warriors rush down the hall at the prey. Just then the bell
on the elevator sounded. The Squirrel, thinking he could escape that way,
ran toward it. The doors slid open and standing within were near to
twenty Klingons, who also spotted the prey.
For a moment frozen in time, the Squirrel stood there, with eyes as large as
dinner plates, and mouth gaping to the floor. The poor creature had
all the appearance of a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming
semi. The prey realized his mistake -- this could have been caused by the
overwhelming roar of "SQUIIIIIIRRRRL!!!" erupting from twenty Klingons with
one voice. Proving that adrenaline is a wonderful thing, he bolted, and with
a speed that can only be attributed to a personal quantum slipstream drive
or 24 hungry Klingons on your tail (literally), he managed to elude us by
streaking past hotel security and bounding up two flights of the stairs.
Laughing the hunting party returned to the hotel room laboratory for two
(four) more shots, after which, with a lingering picture of the huge bushy
squirrel tail burning in their retinas, the group went on a convention-wide,
hotel-long wild squirrel hunt. It soon became apparent that the Squirrel had
a large group of supporters, as no matter who was asked if they had seen the
food item, he had "been here 15 min ago and went that-a-way" or before the
ludicrous question could even be asked, they would tell us, "No we have not
seen a 6 foot squirrel."
The police officers that were approached wanted to know if it was akin to
something called a "pink elephant," and was the group staying in the hotel
or piloting shuttlecraft . . . .
It was decided by all of this year's intrepid hunters that this should be an
regular event, but sadly it was not to be. However the memory of glorious
deeds, such as the Great Norwescon Squirrel Hunt, will live on for
generations to come.
Lt.Cdr. QAOLIN sutai-KILN
DaHarDeeHarHar Master of Klingon Karaoke
Holo-images may be found at:
http://qaolin.tripod.com/id37.htm
