Mindscanner Issue #72
Summer 2007

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FORTY YEARS
Lyrics by Krikor Ajemian - 2007
To the tune of "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies


It's been forty years since Commander Kor
Got Organians mad, they stopped our hot war
Twenty years since the Enterprise
Had a Klingon on the Bridge, Worf was a surprise
Eight years since the Klingon Fleet
Brought the Dominion down, that was no mean feat
Two years since the show was on
But we've still got our club, so we'll always be Klingons

Hey, see the tribbles give us trouble
'Cause first they double
Then there's a billion tribble babies
We eat our worms while they squirm cause we don't like
our dinner burned
We never learned to swallow quadrotriticale

Look, see Duras commit treason
In the next season
His sisters' cleavage gets attention
Now Gowron's got the bug eyes
I hope you realize, there's many more that I could mention
Like D'ghor, Be'tor, Molor and Gor-
-kon, Kang and Koloth, General Korrd
I like Sirella cause she's someone to be fearing
See B'Ehlana, she don't wanna
Work with Jan-a-way, she's gonna
Get cantankerous way down in Engineering

How can I help it if I get real violent when I'm mad
Without tear ducts, don't cry when I feel sad
I'm the kinda guy who howls at a funeral
Can't understand Klingonese? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my armor constantly
I have a history of whipping out my blade

It's been five days since you growled at me
Made me lose my place in the poetry
Four days since you clawed at me
I've still got the punctures in both my spleens

It's been five years since the Romulans
Got their Nemesis feature, but where were the Klingons?
Thankfully, movie ten's long gone
But we'll all still wait two years till we see the next one

To rally the Empire, the Emperor's ruling
DNA retooled thanks to Borath fooling
Turns out he's a clone of Kahless
We couldn't care less
Because he symbolizes our best

General Chang likes to instill fear
He's quoting Shakespeare
Like General Martok, he's got one eye
We're cultured, civilized barbarians
It's quite contrarian
we're partly Viking, partly Samurai

We are the best at causing death
With our batleths (and with our breath)
We're killing Jem'Hadar and Romulans with each swing
But here's our doom cause pretty soon
The Klingon moon is gonna BOOM! There goes Praxis
Now we'll have to do that "peace" thing

How can I help it if I get real violent when I'm mad
Without tear ducts, don't cry when I feel sad
I'm the kinda guy who howls at a funeral
Can't understand Klingonese? You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my armor constantly
I have a history of bloodying my blade

It's been thirty years since the KSF
Took FASA and Ford and made klingons fandom's best
Eighteen since the birth of KAG
Spread round the world, we had Klin-fandom in the bag
Seven years for the Crimson Knight
We came home to KAG because it just felt so right
Two years since the show was on
But we've still got our club, so we'll always be Klingons
Yes we've still got our club, so we'll always be Klingons
As long as there's KAG, we'll always be Klingons
And we can beat any challenge you bring on

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