As
the Empire Grows
by KwISt
You've heard the many sides
of the argument before: This person takes Klingons too seriously. That
person isn't nearly Klingon enough. Why don't they learn the language?
Why torture yourself getting uniformed? What of culture? What of duty?
Where's the party? Clearly, being Klingon means very different things
to different people.
IN THE BEGINNING
When Star Trek first appeared on TV in 1966, it was billed as "the
Wagon Train to the stars." In its first season they needed a recurring
villain to wear the black hat... and Klingons first appeared in the
episode "Errand of Mercy." They were a formidable match for the best
that Starfleet could throw at them, and hungry for a fight. But no
sooner did open war start than it was stopped by those dreaded
Organians.
Klingons weren't much to look at back then, costumed in turtlenecks and
bubble wrap. It was a look at the future that would have to change. A
dozen years later they'd get a major overhaul in Star Trek: The Motion
Picture. Impressive ridges and armor, and a language of their own. Two
films later they'd be back on center stage as the villains, and have an
entire dictionary.
CH-CH-CH-CHANGES
The future came fast three years later when Star Trek: The Next
Generation depicted an end of hostilities between the Federation and
the Klingon Empire. It was a weird paradigm shift - perhaps more
radical than the falling of the Berlin Wall. Some think the Klingons
themselves changed significantly, all codified with Justice and Honor.
Others think it must be the Federation that changed, because the
Klingons were no less shocking and repulsive to Starfleet than ever
before.
So what the hell happened? Whether Starfleet or the Klingons changed in
any significant way PALES to the change in the audience. We finally
took a closer look at our monsters and fears, and found our own
reflection staring back. Our understanding changed. (Although that's
almost like saying "these poor, demonized, murderous villains weren't
actually bad, they were just... misunderstood!") The writers were
tapping into parts of our own history that we'd sooner forget.
One such writer was Ron Moore, who wrote the lion's share of Klingon
episodes. (He later left Trek to make the New Battlestar Galactica.)
When asked why he wrote about Klingons so often, he replied, "It's
because Klingons are the OTHER HALF of the HUMAN EQUATION... the side
that Starfleet is too pristine to embody."
KLINGON FANDOM
Choosing to be a Klingon, particularly in the old days, meant being
VERY different. The obvious protagonists drew countless sheep... but to
be Klingon, one would have to be a wolf: an independent thinker. And in
those pre-NextGen days, it took being an actor, since adopting the role
of the villain demanded surprise and drama.
Those requirements changed as Klingons became more mainstream. Clubs
started forming around snail-mail correspondence and fanzines,
heralding a new following of Klingon fans. At best, a new
counter-culture was growing and new dimensions of art and drama
unfolding. At worst, these clubs were paralleling the stupidest aspects
of their Starfleet counterparts: paper bureaucracies architected by
childish rule-mongers with far more ego than substance. But somewhere
in between, Klingondom was gathering momentum.
Soon, ridged heads were replacing pointed ears as the most recognizable
trait that says "Star Trek" to a new generation of viewers. Postal
lessons allowed students of the Klingon Language "tlhIngan Hol" to be
studied internationally. Finally, even Paramount prefabbed a
Klingon-in-a-box, eliminating the need for everyone to reinvent the
wheel.
ENTER: THE KLINGON ASSAULT GROUP
KAG was born in a stage spotlight. More specifically, it was formed at
the masquerade of the 1989 StarBase Indy. Unlike the other clubs made
of paper, KAG took a stand to "put up or shut up." Showmanship was its
hallmark......its birthmark.
Through trial and error it grew organically, but it grew in leaps and
bounds. Daring visionaries would lead by example, flying by the seat of
their pants, and the teams that formed around them would flourish or
perish upon the merits of ideas and actions. Some fads, like the
Mounted Guard and Rangers, passed quickly... but other trends, like the
Navy, Demon Fleet, Marines and Xeno Legion would prove their staying
power.
And then email changed everything, again. List serves, CC lists, chat
rooms, and web sites have become staples of group communication.
Newsletters made on cheap black-and-white xeroxed sheets are now
turning into web-only productions. It used to be exceptional for a Ship
CO to have email... now it's more the rule than the exception.
But Showmanship continues to be the essence of KAG. Promotions to
officer ranks begin when a uniform is demonstrated. Social support is a
doubtless benefit to local chapters... but Showmanship is the greatest
favor that members do for KAG and KAG does for its members.
ALL YOUR HUMANITY ARE BELONG TO US
Here's where things get wiggy... It's no wonder the question "What is
Klingon?" sparks such heated debates. Perhaps that's fitting, since
American Sign Language often translates us as the "Angry People."
Ron Moore called Klingons "the other half of the human equation..." but
we've not been satisfied with only half. Virtually every other Trek
alien is based on a single characteristic of human behavior. Klingons,
however, have a lot more ground to cover, from passion to cold cunning,
to honor, to guile. The more flat and shallow Starfleet becomes, the
deeper our Klingon responsibility to tell the story of our forgotten
humanity.
But half is not enough. We continue to expand the Klingons Empire's
boundaries. Anything they can do, we can do better... and so there has
been little left in human behavior we haven't yet done. Klingons, not
to be upstaged, become ALL THINGS to all people. BY MY CURRENT
ESTIMATES, WE HAVE NOW CONQUERED 80% OF HUMANITY.
I wish I could say that we've drawn the line at lacy white doilies and
pink tutus... but in showing our superior humor, even those lines have
been crossed. Klingons simply will not rest until the duty of conquest
is completed.
- KwISt
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