Mindscanner #75 - At Home Far From Home

Issue #75
December 2008

At Home Far From Home

Introduced by KwISt,
with testimonial by I-KILL-NOW

The KLINGON ASSAULT GROUP is a dynamic and lively beast. Our mighty vessels take us to distant worlds and unexpected adventures, unlike sit-and-spin stations and quiet libraries, where you'd miss all the fun. No, KAG has never been a one-trick-pony... and the Imperial Xeno Legion (IXL) is another proof of that.

Let's face it, we personalize a lot of our performance to gain individual glory. For some, we've got to try more variety, richer diversity, and the shock of the unexpected. Why travel to the same familiar venues when you can brave more exotic lands, and conquer more challenging cultures? Klingons come in all shapes and sizes... but we're not blinded into thinking we've cornered the market on the warrior spirit. Even a worthy adversary can be admired as formidable qojwI', those who make war. How much more can we celebrate the warrior in those who improve our element of surprise?

There's an active chemistry between differing species that brings new drama like none other. Our IXL gives the Klingon empire more dazzle and activity than any single species could muster. Many misfits, exiles and renegades bring their unique talents and abilities to serve the Klingon empire... and the wild ride that ensues cannot be missed!

With that, I introduce our proudest new addition to KAG's Xeno Legion: Please welcome I-KILL-NOW.

Greetings speak I. Name being I-KILL-NOW, species being Horta. Memberness of KAG bring much happy.

I-KILL-NOW hatch with egg-siblings in tunnels of home-rock, place carbon-people speak as Janus VI. I-KILL-NOW different from egg-siblings. Egg-siblings like pergium to taste, I-KILL-NOW not like. Home-rock full pergium. Home-rock stink pergium everywhere! Brood-mother speak I-KILL-NOW learn pergium taste to like, but I-KILL-NOW think no.

Home-rock tunnels full many Horta. Tunnels also full many carbon-people. Brood mother speak carbon-people new, home-rock live only milli-generations. Brood-mother speak Horta be friends carbon-people. I-KILL-NOW understand no why. Carbon-people little many, Horta much many. Carbon-people live-time much small, Horta live-time much big. Carbon-people soft, Horta hard. If Horta not be friends carbon-people, Horta easy kill carbon-people. Then for Horta only tunnels.

I-KILL-NOW learn carbon-people has differentness. Most carbon-people in home-rock tunnels iron-blood human. Some cobalt-blood Andorian. Andorian resemble human but with sense tendrils on top of brain-pseudopod. Some carbon-people also copper-blood Vulcan. Vulcan like human but sense flaps on side of brain-pseudopod rise like stalagmites. Brood-mother speak Vulcan sense-flaps pretty, but I-KILL-NOW think no. Brood-mother speak Vulcan have mind-touch ableness. I-KILL-NOW no let Vulcan touch mind, no let Vulcan learn I-KILL-NOW hate carbon-people.

I-KILL-NOW kill some carbon-people, dissolve bodies, eat residue. Iron-blood human have tasty, cobalt-blood Andorian have less tasty, copper-blood Vulcan have much tasty! I-KILL-NOW careful eat only carbon-people with aloneness, leave no residue. Other carbon-people have much angry, speak at brood-mother to find ones gone. Brood-mother protect I-KILL-NOW, speak to carbon-people nothing. Brood-mother have much angry to I-KILL-NOW, speak I-KILL-NOW must no kill. I-KILL-NOW hate brood-mother!

Then come new carbon-people, magnesium-blood Klingon. Klingon have many metal box, box shoot radiation, dissolve human many. Klingon kill many human, many Andorian, many Vulcan. Klingon want pergium much. I-KILL-NOW help Klingon kill Vulcan. Klingon see I-KILL-NOW help. I-KILL-NOW speak sameness of mind with Klingon. Klingon like I-KILL-NOW, make bargain.

Now I-KILL-NOW live in metal-cave with many Klingon. Metal-cave go to foreign-rock, I-KILL-NOW help Klingon kill many copper-blood Romulan. Romulan have much tasty like Vulcan, but no mind-touch. Between foreign-rock and foreign-rock, I-KILL-NOW live in metal-cave. Klingon be of KLINGON ASSAULT GROUP, now I-KILL-NOW be of KLINGON ASSAULT GROUP. Memberness of KAG bring much happy!

I
KILL
NOW