by Krikor Ajemian < [email protected] >

We are all familiar with the Picard maneuver, the warp-jump tactic Captain Picard used to win the Battle of Maxia, and which became required study at Starfleet Academy. It occurs to me that if other Starfleet captains had maneuvers named after them, these tactics could also become more commonly known. For example, when faced against insurmountable odds, you could execute:

The Kirk Maneuver aka The Inapproproate input Maneuver
(note: Captain Kirk is such a larger than life character that his maneuver has two variations)

Either...
...convince the sentient computer that in order to fulfil its directives it has to commit suicide...
...or...
...slip the tongue to the hot babe that is actually a soulless android/tentacled horror from Andromeda/whatever, and then watch her "newfound emotions" fry her brain. Gets 'em every time.

The Sisko Maneuver aka the Deus ex Machina Maneuver
Execute a well ordered military operation against odds of at least five to one, and when that doesn't work, ask the Prophets to make the big bad alien fleet go away.

The Archer Maneuver aka the Tourist Maneuver
Put a big naive grin on your face and say: "Hello, nice aliens! We've never met you, but if you would just stop shooting at us, we would really like to be your friends."

Krikor