The Night Before Kristmas
By Kestrel
'Twas the night before Kristmas
And all through the ship
You couldn't hear a sound
Not even a blip.
The tribbles were hung
In the engines with care
With hopes that the warp drives
Wouldn't get clogged with their hair.
The warriors were alive
Not one was dead
And scenes from the recent battle
Danced through their heads.
With my targ at my side
I reached into my sack
And pulled out some food
For a well deserved snack
When out on the bridge
There arose such a racket
I sprang to my feet
To be ready to attack it.
Away to the bridge
I ran like a flash
Get out of my chair I yelled
Or I'll tear off your sash.
The noise on the bridge
Grew to a dull roar
Be silent I said
Or you'll get extra chores.
When what on the sensors
Display should blip
But a bunch of tiny dots
I knew to be ships.
On screen I commanded
And when I saw those flat foreheads
I knew in a second
It must be the Feds.
Out of the computer
The info it came
It beeped when finished
And gave each a name.
There's Yorktown and Essex
And Hood and Excelsior
And Intrepid and Saratoga
And Defiance and Endeavor.
Out of warp space they came
With a big flash of light
With all of those ships
Could they be picking a fight?
I thought to myself
As I studied the sky
Why bring so many
Do they all want to die?
So I opened a channel
To one of the ship's captains
And told him exactly
Of all that would happen.
The captain seemed amazed
He didn't understand fully
He asked me by name
Are you being a bully?
I looked in his eyes
For a very long while
Haven't you ever dealt with us
I asked with a smile?
Personally no
But I've heard quite a story
Of how battles with you
Can be pretty gory.
With eight ships to one
We stand a good chance
You'll never break through
Our defensive stance.
I laughed in his face
And gave the order to fire
Let's get this over with
I want to retire.
I said to the crew
As I looked into the night
Glory and honor to all
And to all a good fight.